boink Magazine Issue Number One Boink Publishing 2005 C'mon porn, what is wrong with you? Didn't Larry Flynt and Bob Guccione and Al Goldstein get shot, go bankrupt and go bankrupt-er to make you a star? And now what? You're pulling in $8 billion annually (and that's just what you're filing) and college kids at renowned universities are putting together skin mags in your name with all the clued-in enthusiasm of fanzines mimicking Tiger Beat ? Did the last three decades not drive home that you have, indeed, already made it? The Japanese are probably even [ Ju-on -ing] you. You've become the Internet with the all the business-acumen-apotheosis of Palmer Eldritch, so print should be your protective baby, all class, take a note from United Colors of Benetton of 'ol. But instead "The Future" has produced boink c/o Boston University with its six-page advertorial for the Liberator (an adjustable screw ramp), an editorial explaining for three pages that condoms "now" have the variety of toothbrushes not trash bags, and I guess, the one jump-off: that women and men, black and white and, well that's it (pierced girls with snake-fetishes?), can be naked and fuck at last in the same rag! Porn, stand up - no, you don't even have to, use any means (you're prob priv to telepathy by now, jesus) - and just jeer, "U Don't Know Me." - Association of American Bagel Store Owners Everywhere Back